So WHEN and WHERE is your wedding?

As we have passed the one year mark before our "so-called wedding date" of 8/20/11 (so-called only because the date may change if our venue is not available for that day), more and more folks are asking for more specifics about our wedding. In fact, I myself have been getting pretty anxious about these first two decisions - when and where. I found a "Wedding Count-Down" To Do List in a magazine and those seem to be the two most important things to accomplish this month:

Wedding Countdown Calendar:

12 months:
-Announce your engagement
-Choose a wedding theme and style
-Work out a basic budget
-Research reception venues
-Determine number of guests
-Look through magazines for attire ideas
-Research wedding pros (photographers, videographers, reception bands or DJs, ceremony musicians). Set up appointments, review portfolios, tapes and recordings
-Meet potential wedding consultants; obtain bids


11 months:
-Select a wedding consultant and meet to discuss details
-Determine theme/decorations for your reception
-Meet with several caterers; arrange for tastings
-Select and book a caterer
-Reserve musicians/DJ for reception
-Determine ceremony musicians and make musical selections
-Book wedding videographer and photographer; make a list of photos, such as ceremony and receptions shots
-Research and interview florists
-Select and reserve your ceremony venue and schedule a rehearsal time
-Choose reception venue; negotiate contract; leave a deposit
-Secure parking and/or transportation for your guests at the reception location
-Visit local bridal stores to browse their selection of gowns
-Choose your wedding party members and ask them to participate in your wedding
-Meet with your officiant to discuss the ceremony
-Determine your honeymoon budget
-Mail save-the-date notices for a destination wedding

10 months
-Select and order your wedding gown
-If your ceremony or reception will be held in a park or recreational area, obtain necessary permits
-Discuss attendants’ duties with your maid of honor and bridesmaids

9 months
-Register for gifts
-Coordinate with vendors to incorporate your theme/style into all aspects of your wedding
-Decide on the food and liquor to be served at your reception
-Prepare a playlist of wedding-reception musical selections
-Select and order your headpiece, veil, gloves and shoes
-Confirm orders of and delivery date for your wedding attire
-Research airline, hotel and rental-car reservations for guests

8 months
-Go to first gown fitting; invite your maid of honor to attend
-Choose and order bridesmaid dresses and accessories
-Research a variety of wedding ring styles
-Select florist; discuss wedding theme and style

7 months
-Review and finalize your wedding details with consultant
-Notify bridesmaids about dress fittings
-Discuss attire with groomsmen and make referrals to local formalwear store
-Select attire for flower girl and/or ring bearer
-Determine the design, wording, font and paper stock for your wedding invitations, stationery, table cards and thank you notes; finalize order
-Arrange a printer or hire a calligrapher for table cards
-Determine order of ceremony events and choose appropriate wording for your programs
-Negotiate rates and book a block of hotel rooms for guests
-Select and order your wedding rings
-Purchase bridal accessories: jewelry, lingerie and so on
-Choose and order something fun for guests to throw after your ceremony (rose petals, confetti or birdseed)

6 months
-Review and approve proofs of invitations and stationery
-Discuss the type of honeymoon you want, start reading up on potential destinations and consult a travel agent for ideas and suggestions

5 months
-Order table cards; place print order for programs
-Finalize choice of honeymoon destination
-Taste a variety of wedding cakes and select a baker; place cake order and arrange for delivery
-Make reservations for rehearsal dinner and select menu

4 months
-Determine method of addressing invitations and hire a calligrapher, if applicable
-Print labels and hand-address or have a calligrapher address invitations
-Choose your wedding vows
-Have groom try on tuxedos
-Purchase or rent groom’s wedding accessories
-Make honeymoon reservations and place all deposits

3 months
-Review and approve wedding announcement and printed program proofs
-Book venue or secure reservations for post-wedding brunch
-Discuss bachelorette party plans with your attendants
-Plan your bridesmaids’ luncheon or dinner
-Make appointments with stylist to discuss your wedding hairstyle
-Create hotel information cards and maps to include with your invitations

2 months
-Secure a wedding-day dressing room for your bridesmaids
-Weigh, purchase postage for and mail invitations
-Go to final gown fitting; arrange for pickup or delivery
-Have groom’s formal wear fitted
-If you plan to have a prenuptial agreement, meet with your attorney to discuss it
-Purchase attendants’ gifts
-Arrange transportation for bride and groom from the ceremony site to the reception

6 weeks
-Send rehearsal dinner invitations
-Write thank you notes as you receive gifts
-Confirm music selections (“playlist”) with musicians and/or DJ
-Select menu for post-wedding brunch
-Purchase a gift for your fiancé
-Shop for wedding favors
-Purchase honeymoon clothing, luggage and accessories
-Go for a practice hairstyling and schedule a day-of wedding hair appointment

4 weeks
-Confirm floral order and arrange for delivery times
-Meet with ushers and assign duties
-Discuss the details of your ceremony with your officiant
-Determine the placement or distribution of programs at the ceremony venue
-Arrange for preparation, storage and break areas for musicians/DJs at the reception venue
-Determine seating arrangements for guests
-Go in for a dry run with a professional make up artists and schedule a day-of-wedding appointment
-Schedule a manicure/pedicure for the day before your wedding
-Finalize details with photographer and videographer
-Finalize honeymoon plans and confirm all reservations
-Arrange for transportation to and from the airport
-Post announcement and photo on your website
-Arrange for table card setup at reception venue
-Schedule pickup/return of groom’s formalwear

3 weeks
-Finalize list of reception guests
-Give the final headcount to the caterer and review details
-Arrange for delivery of flowers and other decorations on the big day
-Call anyone who has not responded to his or her invitation

1 week
-Confirm your honeymoon travel arrangements
-Start packing for your honeymoon
-Pick up your wedding dress

Wedding day
-Eat a good breakfast
-Attend hairstyle appointment
-Give yourself plenty of time to get ready
-Relax and enjoy yourself

Post-wedding: 3 days
-Arrange for transport of gifts
-Have family or friends mail wedding announcements

After the honeymoon
-Take wedding gown and veil to dry cleaners who specializes in gown preservation
-Submit name-change forms for driver’s license, passport, Social Security card, state and federal tax boards, banks, credit cards and so on.

I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself, though before reading this time-line, I'd already done several items way before schedule. I've made 6 bouquets of flowers (mine and one for each bridesmaid). And almost all of my bridesmaids have already purchased their dresses. I have also selected and ordered my wedding dress. But this budget part has really been throwing a wrench into things. Neither of us is willing to go into debt to make this wedding happen, so we have been trying to figure out both how to do things affordably and then to do it affordably, how soon could we make this wedding happen? That question has taken a lot more time and research than I'd anticipated. I think there needs to be a different timeline for those who are paying for their own wedding and want to do so without breaking the bank - Start researching costs and calculating savings based on your income well over a year in advance! AND seeing as I want to do things DIY (do-it-yourself), making my bouquets and decorations, I think it's smart to start working on those projects ASAP. I'm having fun making the bouquets. If I keep up this obsessive flower-making until our wedding, we may not have any room left for the guests! Tee hee hee. But it's a big relief to know I'm not going to be up until 2am the night before our wedding because I need to make more flowers. At least I hope not!

But back to the question that titled this post...

We still don't know. But I think we're getting much closer to the answer. So stay tuned!

My Dress

This has been my latest obsession. And I blame it on my dreaming mind. I had the most vivid dream of this organza bridal gown with little polka dots all over it, but in a vintage, 50's style. I vividly recall feeling so "at home" in the dress. I'm having a hard time accepting that the dress may not exist. I've been searching all over - etsy, eBay, google images, all to no avail. I've been tempted to try to find a seamstress that could make the dress for me. But even then, I'm not sure I could grasp this dream dress well enough to even describe it to someone. I just want to find it. *sigh*

Don't worry, I'm not going all Bride-zilla here (or at least not yet - tee hee hee). Even the search for this elusive dress is kind of fun at this point. And I'm still easy-going enough to accept, I may just wear whatever. My big thing is that I want this wedding to be *fun* for Nick, me and everyone there. And I don't think whatever dress I'm wearing or not wearing will affect that one way or the other.